What tense is this story in?

Muffled voices spoke in hushed tones, I knew they were talking about me but was too sleepy to care. I let the darkness wash over me, beautiful sleep was so close…

“Emily,” a loud voice interrupted, “can you squeeze my fingers?”

“Yes,” I thought, “How hard can it be?” But nothing happened, it was like my hands were not joined to my body. It felt strange; perhaps I should be worried. Surely this wasn’t normal! Feeling the warm arms of unconsciousness wrapping around me the voices disappeared and any worries faded away.



I spun around at the sound, knocking the blue boxes off the shelf in front of me. It was just kids playing in the next aisle. “Calm down,” I thought to myself, looking down at my trembling hands. I picked up the plastic wrapped boxes one by one. Grabbing a handful, I headed to the closest checkout, pulling my hood over my head.

“Just these,” I said to the bored looking employee.

“$21.50,” she answered, her tone matching her solemn expression.

Pushing the notes into her hand I just wanted to get back to the safety of my car, away from all these people.

“Thanks,” I muttered shoving the three boxes and change into my pockets. Head down, I made my way through the crowded store and slumped into my seat. My hand made its way to the lock, the familiar click slowed my racing heart, I was safe from the prying eyes.



I was woken by a blinding light, I tried to move away but something held me in place. I tried to scream at whoever was leaning over me, but nothing came out. Eyes, slowly adjusting to the light I looked around, my mum, older brother and four others in white uniforms were beside me with expressions of sadness and fear on their faces. I focussed on my beautiful mother’s face, stained with tears. Feeling scared, I wanted to know why she was crying. I looked to my brother for answers but his face was devoid of any emotion, it scared me even more. Then the doctor spoke.

“Look, there’s no easy way to say this, I don’t think there is any chance of a full recovery. Emily has sustained significant brain damage.” I saw my mother collapse to the floor and felt my eyes drooping again. I tried to fight the darkness this time, I wanted to scream out to mum, tell her I’m awake and ease her pain. It was too late…



Everything was ready, I looked around my room, taking in all the small details I would miss, the pillow that nearly caught fire, the patch on the carpet where my brother had spilled the beer we stole. I wiped the tears from my cheek, I propped the envelope up on my freshly made bed. I tore the shiny wrapping off the first box.....................







It was written to be in present tense with flashbacks in past tense, but it seems to read as all in present tense... help? thanks
What tense is this story in?
It's in past tense. All you have to do is change the bits that are in past tense but aren't meant to be into present tense ie, Muffled voices SPEAK in hushed tones, i KNOW they are talking about me, but I'm to sleepy to care. I let the darkness wash over me, beautiful sleep IS so close...

“Emily,” a loud voice INTERRUPTS, “can you squeeze my fingers?”

“Yes,” I THINK, “How hard can it be?” But nothing HAPPENS, IT'S like my hands ARE not joined to my body. It FEELS strange; perhaps I should be worried. Surely this ISN'T normal! Feeling the warm arms of unconsciousness wrapping around me the voices DISAPPEAR and any worries FADE away.



hope i helped!



by the way, it's really good so far. I wish I could have found out what was in the blue boxes :)
What tense is this story in?
first person
It's entirely in past tense, I think you're a bit confused.



Past tense would be: %26quot;I looked about the room, then turned my gaze towards the window.%26quot;

Present tense would be: %26quot;I look about the room, then turn my gaze towards the window.%26quot;
no no, its good

the flashbacks should be in present tense aswell, because you were writing them as if you were reliving them

in the story i guess you might put them in italics to show that they're flashbacks and not the story getting muddled up

good story though, i like how the flashbacks are kind of filling in the gaps
did you write this????



i think that writing and reading something in the present tense can sometimes be a little tiring and confusing.

like, if it were present tense, it'd go:

%26quot;Muffled voices speak in hushed tones, I know they are talking about me but I'm too sleepy to care. I let the darkness wash over me, beautiful sleep is so close…

“Emily,” a loud voice interrupts, “can you squeeze my fingers?”

“Yes,” I think, “How hard can it be?” But nothing happens, it's like my hands are not joined to my body. It feels strange; perhaps I should be worried. Surely this isn’t normal! Feeling the warm arms of unconsciousness wrapping around me, the voices disappear and any worries fade away.%26quot;



%26quot;I am woken by a blinding light, I try to move away but something holds me in place. I try to scream at whoever is leaning over me, but nothing comes out.%26quot;



kind of funny to read in some places and it might be hard to make it sound good for an entire book



but the story reads well as it is, it makes sense i think

i really like it =]