Hmmm, Can someone shade some light?

I am still in love with my Ex. I want to be with him, but he broke up with me because of the drama I was dealing with ( most of my past questions). Well My drama has died down and even after him breaking my heart ( he invited me over to his house to spend the night and then he invite another girl over that he liked) I still want to be with him. I felt so low and depressed. So to make myself feel better I went shopping, got new clothes, and new hair do, And change my whole personality, I am now filled with confidence and I am happy, I feel like I am finally on top of the world. But when I am around him I close myself off and detach myself from the world. I can hide my emotions very easily and I pretend that nothing phases me. But all I want to do is be with him. I am trying my hardest to get over him, I think about all the things that annoy me, I think about everything that pisses me off about him and it seems to help, I try to keep busy, and that helps to. We work together so I do my best when I can to avoid him. Even after he was such a jerk to me,

1.) Even after he hurt and disrespected me Why do I still have these feelings for him?

2.) How long will it take before I can get him out of my head.

3.) Why Does it hurt so bad?

4.) And why doesn't he feel any pain from what he did to me?

5.)is it Wrong to want to make him jealous, because sometimes i think it would make me feel a lot better?



I am begging can someone please shade some light on my situation
Hmmm, Can someone shade some light?
I will try my darling.



1.) Even after he hurt and disrespected me Why do I still have these feelings for him? Well you know what as the one who was dumped and my wife divorced me I know exactly what that feels like. The reason has to do with comfort, time and habit! You were comfortable with him, anytime a week, month or year(s) you invest time which enhances that comfortable feeling and thru habit, the disrespect you grew use to it (for better or worse) and with that comes a deep attachment. Nothing real unique about this situation except it just so happens to be you who are involved!



2.) How long will it take before I can get him out of my head? Well again going back to my divorce, she was the one whom left me, and I can honestly say I am better off now, but at the time and for a long time I really just wanted to get back together. I stopped letting that be known when it was painfully obvious that nothing would ever be the same again, maybe that was when we went to court and she lied and told the mediator that there had been a history of domestic violence which the hadn't been, and the only issue that could have amounted to domestic violence was her against me! LOL So I've been divorce for over 2 1/2 years now and to say I'm 100% okay now even to this day would be an oversimplification, we were together 13 years and married for 4 of those, so yea it just takes each of us our own time. If you can move on with someone else even if it鈥檚 just as friends, lovers what have you that would help? And not to make him jealous!



3.) Why does it hurt so badly? For all the above mentioned reasons!



4.) And why doesn't he feel any pain from what he did to me? Because he didn't dump you based upon any guilt or problem he has, he felt you had it and didn't want to deal with you or %26quot;it%26quot; anymore. As far as he is concerned, you are a burden that he cut loose and he has no remorse about that! Again I know how you feel though...finally:



5.) Is it Wrong to want to make him jealous, because sometimes I think it would make me feel a lot better? Well ok, yes it would make you feel better in the beginning but you sound like you have a heart and it would only hurt you in the long run, ever heard of the %26quot;Boomerang effect%26quot; or %26quot;Karma?%26quot; Move on, another thing I noticed you said you work together that is going to be a problem, and this is why many experts and non-experts alike recommend against dating in the work place, but we think we know best and break that rule all the time and here you go as to why that is in place. So in to help with your time to recover from this failed relationship, you could quit, or take a different shift if possible, transfer out or whatever, but by you two being around one another on the job, that's going to hinder all the above mentioned issues enabling you to recover that much more...sad but true. Well I wish you the best of luck and am here for any further questions or consults! Hope this helps...



GAH
Hmmm, Can someone shade some light?
You might still have feelings for him - or think you do because you were actually WITH him, you know? He was your boyfriend. Also, it might just be that you want to be/feel loved?? Pray about it! It definitely won't hurt anything....just pray for the right feelings, and try to be willing to accept that fact that you two may not be together like that again.
gosh please dont tell him how you feel... you seem lovely and better than how he makes you feel.. so yes take a deep breath when you feel your mind wondering to him and think of something else.. you'll look back on him someday when you are in a loving relationship and think %26quot;what did i ever see in him%26quot;
tell him how you feel

help me out

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I already reply to this question. Sorry is there was some misspells. I didn't even correct what I typed.
I understand. I have done all of that go shopping act positive stuff, but sometimes you have got to face your ugly feelings like anger, resentment, disappointment, and feelings of rejection first. Then you accept them and realise, they are natural feelings for your situation and ask yourself whether that is really anything to be ashamed of. Then the next step is not to go back into the arms of someone who has hurt you and use intimacy with them to comfort those wounds. It sends a message that not only was hurting you not that big a deal, but you don't expect anymore from anyone else either and are prepared to sell out because of a natural sense of loneliness that we all have, but learn to accept and not allow to rule our whole sense of judgement and wise choices. Tell him that you feel disappointed in the way he treated you (if he wants to rationalize it it is not up for discussion), and that you have decided that you can no longer be friends. Find new friends, and don't need a boyfriend, classic egotistical males who like being manipulative and depended upon can smell need a mile off. Even turn down offers a few times and say you just wanna hang out for now.
Someone can hurt you tremendously, and not change your love for them.



Every day your feelings will soften up a little, til one day you've completely moved on. He'll be a distant memory.



It's not wrong to have feelings of anger. In fact, that is one of the stages you go through when you are getting over something.



You sound young. NEVER, EVER waste time on a man who does not think the WORLD of you. Otherwise, you are selling yourself short, and you won't become the whole person you are meant to be. It's the hardest thing to learn for all of us, maybe because we are lonely.



Keep really busy improving your own life, so that you don't get obsessive about someone else. It will also make you more attractive and interesting when the RIGHT person comes along some day.
1. feeling don't go away over night, they develop in time they take time to go away.

2. 1 for every two you were together 1 yr for every 2 yrs 1 month for every 2 months

3 Love hurts it is supposed to hurt. It is a deep emotion, people kill themselves and others over love.

4 He hurt just as much as you but his healing process began long before your did. He made the decision to leave long before the day it actually happened and he started grieving while he was still with you

5 He dumped you and IF he gets jealous and you feel better than good for you. He probably wont get jealous if your with someone else. He might actually feel good because it would appear that you have moved on.
most guys r jerks

i suggest u get over him i no it hurts n sucks but think of all the bad things hes dun or said2 u n think bout how much better u deserve so what he likes sum1 else screw him u can do better AND if u guys were really ment2 b he woulda still been wit u even thru the drama cuz thats what people n love do they r there 4 1another.

1) u have feelns 4 him cuz u actually loved him u felt 4 him

2) it could b days months years it all depends on the person i guess and how long they were2gether. it took me 7months 2 get over my 2and a half year relationship

3)it always hurts2 get hurt by the person u love its jus how it is. if u didn't get hurt by that person then u never really loved them thats what i think neways

4)cuz thats jus how sum guys r thats how they deal wit things especially if hes found sum1 else i say don't waste ur time on him

5)u jus want him 2 feel how u do. the only way he'll b really jealous is if u actually like sum1 else or go out wit sum1 else

guys normally want what they cant have go figure right

but yea thats jus the way life goes we love we break up n we move on we cant let the ex's of our lives get the best of us now can we?
1. Love is a really crazy thing and you never know what it is going to do or how it is going to make you feel. You just need to trust what your gut is telling you.

2. Everyone is different. It also depends on how long you dated him. My friend dated a guy for three months and it took twice that long to get over him. Mostly it was that another guy came into her life and made her forget all about the guy.

3. It hurts because it's like you lost part of your heart. The man you loved left you, anyone would feel the exact same way in your position.

4. He probably does feel some pain, either that or he was never in love with you in the first place. You are either always in love or you never were, that's what I think.

5.I really don't think that it is wrong. However, it is wrong to use a guy to make him jealous. I would say that you should either tell him how you feel or try to let go of him and meet someone new. Throw yourself into something or someone and you will not think of him again, or at least that is my experience.
Sometimes, a habit is better than nothing. Even if it harms us, we smoke, drink , do drugs, etc. You get the point. You have not had completion with this and I am sure your pride and ego were involved.

However, it will pass. When you find yourself thinking of %26quot;him and what could have been.%26quot; Stop, take a deep breath and train your mind onto something else.