But somehow forever our love will stay
We went through alot of things
Gifts always were just watches or rings
But now it's all ended and we are no more
And my heart really doesnt want to be sore
So here is a poem saying how much im still in love
And I wish my soul could finally be as free as a dove
I miss your smile I miss your charm
I miss my fast beating heart when you would gentley touch my arm
I know we agreed to move along
but my in my head is still the beat of %26quot;our song%26quot;
I just hope now and pray
that I can get over you in some quick way
Our love forever will it be
even when my heart is lent out to other company
So remember our laughs,our talks,and our cries
and i wont ever forget the love i saw in your eyes.
I want to know your honest opinion about this poem!?
Its a really sweet poem, i hope it works. And to that other MORON who said it was boring and all about you. I bet no-one has ever written a poem about you because you were soooo BORING!
I want to know your honest opinion about this poem!?
kaitlyn u suck! u didn't choose me!!!!! grrrr im mad at u now!!!
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awww
i love this poem
keep writing and posting more please
good try but is self egotistically boring and all about you
Sad, really sad. Breaks my heart reading it. I hope you feel better soon.
In all, and total sincerity....... I love it. It is something that I would write, if I had that kind of talent.
If it makes you feel better ... it is beautiful. But don't waste such heartfelt words on someone unworthy ... Have respect for yourself, mourn, and move on ... There's a whole new world out there. ...
It's okay. But if it was written for me, I would love it and cherish it forever.
that's good
I like it. It's honest the best written poems come that way. :)
First of all you should change %26quot;day' light to sun light. And the bit about watches and rings, change it to were always such marvelous blings, it sounds cooler
I've never really been fond of rhyming poetry, so I may not be the best to ask. I do like it though. I do notice a few grammar mistakes you may want to change. For instnace alot isn't a word. It's either allot or a lot. In your case you want the latter.
If you're wanting criticism I'd suggest more description, but that may not be what you want to do with this work. It depends fully on what you want it to do, say, affect and sound to someone. I like it.
kinda confusing if you try to analyze it thats wat i think. My mom said it sounded pretty that she liked it, because its very meaningful
its a great poem the only question i have is %26quot;but my in my head is still the beat of %26quot;our song%26quot;? other then that question I really like your poem and don't stop writing maybe try and send some to a publisher
Good choice of words, poor choice of meter (not that meter matters).
In terms of what you are saying, it sounds like you still feel for this person. Have you considered getting back together with him? Have you talked and communicated with him how you really feel? If you haven't, I'd do that. Who knows, it might work out again, then you can pay your friendly paper shredder a visit :)
It a very nice poem from the heart...
I've written one a month ago too...
You are trying to accept, but it's hard...
Your poem is saying that you will never forget those times and no, you will never forget, neither would they.
If you really love someone, set them free, it's the greatest gift you can ever give. You've given your heart, which was the precious gift...
It's good to see you growing. :)
honest opinion
a very mediocre, amateur poem
first of all there are many errors such as misspelled words (gently, a lot) and repetitions (but my in my head) which distract from the poem
your poem is written in couplets in an AABB rhyme scheme, but you chose not to have a distinct rhythm (e.g. iambic pentameter). this results in a very awkward sounding poem. i'm going to give you an exaggerated example of what you did with this poem:
Hey, want to go lay by the bay?
Nah, I think i would rather go play in the arcade with my uncle whose name is Jay.
sorry if this sounded all too harsh for you, I'm sure there are some things in the poem that only you and your lover could understand. best of luck!
awwwww how sweet....thats a really good poem...i could only make short ones....but its still nice....i meant yours are better than mine....yea..all i can say that it is a really good poem thats all...see ya
It's good, but take care of your grammar, don't stop writing!.
it rhymes. Congrats. It shows thought. Congrats. It doesn't scan, hoewever, and needs poetic language to be considered fine work. It is however, a start.
suggestions:
When night changed to day
love would not stay
we are no more
my heart is sore
I miss your smile, your charm,
when you gentley touched my arm
we'ved moved along
no more to %26quot;our song%26quot;
no laughs,talks,and cries
no love in your eyes
some of the lines are really cheesy but some are really good also. keep re writing, replacing some words with other ones til it sounds just right. i think you could do better. sorry, my honest opinion. but its not half bad. so keep tryin hun. hope this helps.
aaaawwwwww kaitlyn i can't believe u posted this!!!!! its sooooooooooooooooooooo sweet!!!!!!!
u miss zack don't u??? i can see y.
please give me 10 points cause u know im ya girl!!!!!! (and im trying to get to level 3!!!)
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